habits

It’s spring break! We get 9 lovely days with my husband! Let the routines be … uh oh. Does anyone else have a little trouble maintaining routines with their darling husband around? He’s on vacation! He wants to sleep in and play late and do fun spontaneous things, as well as all of the spring cleaning he has planned. It’s just that I have my way of doing things (or I’m trying to) and he’s not always sensitive to the rhythm of the household. This will take much communication and patience.

This is my third week of Fly Lady and I have yet another different daily schedule!. Week one I did well. It was my first week, and I was all excited. I didn’t have to drive to seminary so I had the whole morning to do my routine. Week two included seminary and between getting up each morning at 5am and being gone until 7:20…it didn’t work so well. Now granted I tried to smash some extra things in there…I cleaned 10 boxes from my room (donating or trashing 3 boxes worth. I also cleaned my van. Add in a long doctors appointment (with great results, and wonderful doctors) and I’m bushed. Now I have week three…no morning guaranteed wakeup time for anyone and dad home on vacation.

I’m still going every which way a bit, and still too tired to do what I’m supposed to do sometimes.

Yesterday at the library I read a book to my daughter that said something wonderful about habits..Berenstain Bear books drive me crazy to read, but I really liked this “A habit is something you do so often you don’t even have to think about it. Habits are a very important part of our lives.” Fly Lady is NOT a habit for me yet. I still have to choose to do it. I have to think about it, and this may surprise you 😉 but I’m a thinker already! I realize that part of difficulty of that is the constant interruptions….but I can’t change that (and I really don’t want to, most of my interruptions are very cute), so I need to be able to work with that.

I have heard that it takes 21 days to establish a habit. Does it count if every single day of those 21 was different? What about when whole weeks were substantially different? I finally figured out week one that I needed to take my laundry out the night before, but then I couldn’t start it first thing for week two because the washing machine is louder than most commuter trains-when it spins, which it doesn’t always do… and I didn’t want people waking up at 5:30am.

Do I need different routines for each different week? Is everyday a new Situation Awaiting Wisdom? Kind of. Every day is going to have it’s own unique challenges, but I need to develop new habits despite that.

I need to have the routines as automatic…non negotiable, even if it takes me all day to do the morning routine. Otherwise I’ll find myself like I did last night…exhausted having spent 2 hours with a tired 8mo who didn’t want to settle down…there were dishes still in the sink and I was having to choose, are the dishes worth it? It’s the choosing that makes it so hard. If it was automatic and after I got the baby to sleep Of course I do the dishes…it wouldn’t have taken 10 minutes (that’s all it took this morning). In that deciding time I am swayed by my unreasonable appraisal of things…this job will take forever, it doesn’t matter, I’m so tired I can’t do it. None of those statements are really true.

Every day we have to choose when we are done. There is always more to do. Now flylady makes this easier by having a distinct list to finish..then you are done. Herein lies the problem. In the past two weeks not once have I done every thing on the list. I have done the routines most days…but on several days I’ve done nothing more than that. yikes. Now even the routines are making a huge difference. The extra cleaning I’m doing is making a huge difference, but there still isn’t a feeling of “done” at the end of the day, so I’m choosing…am I done?

Hopefully this week we’ll make some big progress, cleaning the garage and finishing unpacking and putting up pictures…AND hopefully I’ll continue doing the routines. I cannot make exceptions and excuses for myself, or things will never get done! Something wonderful is always happening around here…something more exciting than a shiny sink and folding laundry. If I keep persisting with the routines that they will become automatic…great habits that will help our home run more smoothly AND they will give us more time for those fun and exciting things. Nothing takes more time than being behind! That’s the biggest lie of all isn’t it? We don’t have time to NOT be doing our routines. If I simply stay on top of my laundry, it’s easy to get everyone up and dressed…if the laundry is still unfolded in the basket…it takes loads more time.

So here is my challenge this week..hold onto my routines, while loving my children and with my husband home. I can do it.

wish me luck